Is Someone Taking Advantage of Your Parents?

How to Spot and Stop Financial Elder Abuse

We’ve all heard the wild stories about the widow who gave away her savings to an online “boyfriend,” or the man who handed over his personal details to claim a fake lottery win and lost everything to a scam. But those are the big, dramatic cases. They usually have an element of scandal, and sometimes we can’t help thinking ‘”well, that would never happen to me.”

What’s far more common, but rarely makes headlines, are the quiet cases that happen every day in every community.

The new friend from church who slowly gains influence. The helpful gardener or caregiver who offers to take care of the bills. The friend who has access to an “exclusive” investment that promises high returns and security.

This happens every day, and it happens right here in our own towns.

I recently attended a session hosted by Prudent Investors through PFAC ( the Professional Fiduciary Association of California), led by Jared Ong and Jeremy Lau. It shed light on how widespread and subtle this kind of abuse can be — and what we can all do to prevent it.

Why Are Elders Targeted More Often?

It’s not about older people’s lack of tech skills or inherent gullibility, it’s about where the money is.

People over 70 make up only 12% of the population, but they control nearly 30% of the nation’s wealth. That’s why scammers - both strangers and familiar faces - focus on this population.

Here’s what it can look like, and how to protect your parents, loved ones, or even yourself.

Fraud vs. Abuse: What’s the Difference?

Fraud

• Comes from strangers

• Involves phishing, tech support scams, or fake investments

• Is fast, transactional, and often digital

  
  

These aren’t sloppy emails anymore. Scammers are organized, skilled, and use technology that’s hard to distinguish from the real thing. They now use:

• Emails and texts that mimic banks or delivery services like UPS and Fedex

• Caller ID spoofing to appear as a known contact

• AI-generated voice calls that mimic loved ones

  
  

A Real Example

Someone we work with recently received an email from Fedex with a link to pay an invoice. The package had already been delivered, but the email claimed that international tariffs were assessed that had not been paid by the shipper. It looked legitimate, but given how convincing fake delivery emails can be, we helped verify it. We called the local FedEx office directly to verify their records for outstanding amounts related to the delivery, and it turned out this one was real.

But with today’s fast-changing tariffs, shipping fees, and the sophistication of current technology, it's easy for scammers to capitalise on confusion. Always double-check. If you or a family member receives an email like that, don’t click the link. Instead, look up the company’s contact info yourself and call to confirm. Even familiar logos and tracking numbers can be faked.

How to Avoid Scams

• If you or a family member receives an email from a bank, delivery company, or service provider asking for information, don’t click links directly. Go to their website yourself or call their official number to verify.

• If someone calls or texts you claiming to be a loved one in trouble, hang up immediately, even if the caller sounds exactly like them. Call them back using the number you already know. Caller ID and voice cloning technology can both be faked.

• Double-check every single website before you enter personal information. For example, I recently went to the IRS website to complete a form and was redirected to a fake site that asked for a $295 “processing fee.” It looked official, but I know the IRS doesn’t charge for that service. It took me a second to realize the site wasn't real - and that’s exactly how these scams work.

  
  

Abuse

Financial abuse often looks different from scams. It usually comes from someone the victim already knows - and it tends to happen when that person is most vulnerable.

• Comes from someone familiar

• Could be a family member, caregiver, or friend

• Often builds slowly and relies on trust or emotional manipulation – or, a crisis hits and that person is right there ready to ‘assist’
  
  

In Santa Barbara, we’ve had several high-profile cases over the past few years where individuals known to the victims — including caregivers, assistants, and trusted professionals — have stolen significant sums. In the Craig Case trial, a private investigator was accused of embezzling nearly $700,000 from a 94-year-old Montecito heiress (read more). Another ongoing trial has revealed dueling claims of undue influence surrounding the finances of a wealthy local woman, with serious allegations of manipulation and breach of trust (read more). And in 2023, two defendants received probation after being convicted of financial elder abuse and fraud involving more than $1 million stolen from a vulnerable senior in their care (read more).

What to Watch For

If you see any of these signs, it might be time to ask more questions:

• Unusual withdrawals or wire transfers

• Bills going unpaid despite available funds

• A new friend or “helper” showing up and gaining access to accounts or personal details

• Confusion about where money is going

• Sudden changes to wills, trusts, or account ownership

• “Gifts” or “loans” that don’t make sense

• Mail or bank statements no longer arriving at home
  

If something feels off — trust that feeling.

How to Talk to Your Parents About It

Start simple, without lectures or accusations. You might open with something casual or relatable - maybe a recent scam you read about, or one you nearly fell for yourself.

Talking about scams in general keeps it light and opens the door. If you suspect they’re at risk or have already been targeted, keep your tone calm. The best advice here is to listen more than you talk. No one wants to feel judged or embarrassed. You’ll learn more, and be able to help more, if the conversation feels safe.

Five Ways to Protect the People You Love

1. Stay in touch
   Isolation makes people more vulnerable. Frequent, genuine contact goes a long way.

2. Have the talk before it’s urgent
   Conversations are easier before something goes wrong. Planning ahead prevents emergencies later.

3. Watch for sudden changes
   Unexplained behavior, secrecy, or unusual financial activity can all signal a problem.

4. Use checks and balances
   No single person, even a trusted family member, should have total control over finances without some oversight.

5. If your parents need help, bring in a Fiduciary early
   A licensed fiduciary has a legal duty to act in your parent’s best interest. You don’t have to sign over full control to get help - even limited involvement adds critical checks and balances. Fiduciaries have systems, oversight tools, and legal accountability that others don’t.

Who’s Required to Report Elder Financial Abuse?

Certain professionals (including bank employees, investment advisors, and insurance agents) are legally required to report suspected elder abuse. In California, they’re considered mandated reporters.

The challenge is that each of them only sees part of the picture. A bank might notice odd withdrawals. An advisor might spot unusual trades. An attorney might review a sudden power of attorney. But having someone with visibility across the entire picture can identify concerns sooner. That’s where a fiduciary can add value - by connecting the dots and augmenting the controls of each of the other professionals.

What To Do If You Suspect Something’s Wrong

If you think someone is being financially exploited:
Call the California Elder Abuse Hotline: 1-833-401-0832

You’ll be connected to your local Adult Protective Services office, available 24/7.

Need a Second Opinion?

If something feels off, or you want help reviewing your parents’ financial setup, reach out. Sometimes a second set of trained eyes- with the right systems and accountability - can make all the difference.

This article was inspired by a PFAC webinar hosted by Prudent Investors. Credit to presenters Jared Ong and Jeremy Lau for their insights and expertise.